Two weeks and counting

As our family begins our third week of getting up early enough to savor morning time together, I'm still weary and the girls are still thriving.  I continue to marvel at how much they enjoy this new approach to Schroeder mornings.  Some surprising results include:

1.  This morning our eight year-old woke up on her own at 5:40.  She came into our room and snuggled up in bed with us.  We ended up turning on the radio and listening to the classical station for 30 minutes.  We sang along to the Barber of Seville and I tried to remember the Bugs Bunny cartoon set to it.  She loved it so much she requested that we set her alarm so she can come to our bed and do it again tomorrow.  We'll see how that goes!

2.  The girls are able to sleep in on the weekends.  I was worried that early rising during the week would translate to perky girls at our bedside at 6:00 on weekends.  Not thus far.  But we were camping this weekend so we were up late and active all day.  Perhaps subsequent weekends will not play out the same.

3.  By the end of last week we were beginning to see some of the benefits of having the girls make their own lunches.  E came home one day and said, "I didn't make enough lunch today.  Tomorrow I'll pack more."  And then she did.  I love the independence and responsibility she is beginning to assume with this simple and yet meaningful task.

Some not-so-surprising results include:

1.  I still can't get myself to bed before 11:00, with the exception of one night during our camping trip when I went to sleep at 9:00.  (That was heavenly!) 

2.  My New Yorkers are piling up and I haven't even bought the next book for our book group.  Gotta figure out how to squeeze in some reading time during the day.

3.  I am now conditioned to wake up early and can't sleep past 6:00 even when I want to.  Sigh.

4.  My tired husband keeps asking, "Couldn't we sleep in just a little tomorrow?" 

Here's a link to the Rabbit of Seville, in case you wanna remember too.

http://youtu.be/55G7T8VdWEs

Reflections on Week 1

Setting aside the abstract benefits of creating savoring time early in the day, here are some reflections on the more mundane pluses and minuses of early rising we experienced this week.

Pros:
*  The positive reaction from the girls.  Some quotes from E this week include "I love this cuddle time.  Can we do this every morning?" and "Wow - I actually WANT to practice my violin in the morning." Little sister A doesn't verbalize it so clearly but she is naturally inclined to early rising, so she seems to be in her element.
*  So far, making their own lunches appears to translate into eating everything they pack (as promised by their Montessori teachers).  Cuts down on waste and makes for a better school day, I suspect.
*  Getting to school early means ample parking spaces and A gets to snag the bread making station in her classroom, which is a perennial favorite and apparently a hot commodity. 
*  No rushing out the door.  No harping on them that we will be late.  I suspect they hated that as much as I did.
*  Afternoons are more relaxed and I don't have to interrupt their play with neighborhood friends to nag them about music practice or other responsibilities. 

Cons:
*  Fatigue.  By day 4, I'm tired.  While we've been pretty successful at getting the girls to bed early, I haven't been asleep before 11:00 yet. 
*  Loss of evening reading time.  I love to read in bed at night.  Now I'm too tired.  I either have to get in bed much earlier or figure out how to find reading time during the day. 
*  Dave's schedule this week hasn't meshed with this plan as well as we had hoped.  It was a busy hospital week for him and he had to leave the house by 7:30.  So he really only had time for exercise, breakfast making and eating with the girls.  I suspect there wasn't much savoring going on for him.  He successfully advocated for no procedures scheduled before 9:00,  so even most "hospital weeks" won't be like that in the future - we hope.  And at least we got to have breakfast with him!  On our old schedule, he would have been out of the house before we came down for breakfast.

Any thoughts on how to manage evening time and getting my weary body in bed earlier?

Why would you want to do that?

This is what many of my friends have asked me when I've mentioned that we're adopting an early rising lifestyle with our two girls, ages 8 and 5.  Even more commonly, they've nodded with a slightly perplexed look, only thinly veiled by their smiles and expressions of approval.  While there is a plethora of information out there on the benefits of getting up early, and I hope to share some of that here, it’s still a valid question.  Why do WE want to do it now?  Especially when we’ve been waiting for 8 years for our girls to stop waking US up at the crack of dawn!

No doubt we'll revisit our motivations (and right-mindedness) with some frequency in the weeks ahead.  And there’s a fairly strong chance that we’ll end up abandoning the whole notion.  But here’s why we’re giving it a try.

We want to preserve our sanity. 

While some may argue it’s too late for that (and perhaps we did commit ourselves to insanity simply by choosing to have children) we think this may be one component to a peaceful family life.  In other words, we want to get up early so we can carve out a space for good family time, even during the hectic school year. 

In the summer, family life really does seem more peaceful.  Our family savors the lazy mornings together.  When the girls don't have to be out the door at a certain time they can lay in bed with a good book, linger over breakfast, participate more meaningfully in the purposeful work of taking care of themselves and our home, and approach daily responsibilities such as music practice with enthusiasm.  There is ample time for infusing humor into challenges and savoring the sweet little triumphs and fascinations with the "moment" that young children experience with remarkable frequency, particularly in the morning when they are refreshed and energized.

As the beginning of this new school year approached, it was the loss of this relaxed time together that I was dreading the most.  During past school years, despite our best intentions, we often ended up rushing through our mornings.  We know a solid night's rest is essential for learning and for navigating through the school day.  So we have always let the girls sleep until they awoke on their own (or as late as possible). 

Most days, this translated into having not quite enough time for the usual get-ready-for-school routine.  Get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, comb hair, get shoes on and get out the door.  Dave and I were the cattle herders, trying to jostle the girls through their responsibilities while making breakfast, packing lunches, getting ourselves ready and checking in about the schedule for that afternoon/evening.  Preferring to have as much home time as possible, the girls would often drag their feet.  And our patience was short for the inevitable delays (intentional and accidental) that popped up as the clock quickly registered the time to leave.  Conflicts were frequent, tempers might flare, and far too often we started the day on a sour note.

So, we decided a couple of weeks ago that we would try getting up early and give ourselves “savoring time”.  Dave and I had many conversations about just what that meant for us.  We came to the conclusion that savoring time meant having enough time for each of us to really connect with both girls in the morning.  In our family, that means having time for rubbing backs and snuggling in bed before getting up.  It means having time to approach the morning routine tasks with intention and good humor.  It means having enough time for the adults to take care of their own needs (exercise, healthy breakfast, shower) and for the children to engage in the purposeful work they crave (making breakfast, making their own lunches, feeding the family pets, playing their musical instruments, etc.)  

For Dave and me, it means meeting the challenge of being truly present with the girls through each step of the morning and avoiding the distractions of pagers, computers and phones as much as possible.  And it means packing less into our afternoons and evenings so we can get to bed in time to do it all again the next morning.

It is our hope that getting up early will infuse our family with the precious commodity of time, an essential ingredient for intention and calm.  All of us, the girls included, will use this space to record our thoughts and observations as we give this a go.